Sweet Bloody Mess
by HotchnerJareau
Summary: JJ leaned back on the wall in the bathroom, dragging the polished silver tool along her skin. Her once soft, light, delicate skin, had turned into a bloody mess. "Oh my God." She cried out, watching the sweet dark blood as it oozed from her left arm. Very soon this would all end.


**Author's Note: This is just a little Drabble. Hope you enjoy. Not sure if I will continue it.. Guess that's up to you and your reviews.**

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><p>Laurell K. Hamilton once wrote<em>: "<em>_There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds__." _

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><p>"JJ? You alright?"<p>

The voice was very familiar, though the pills she'd taken had already worked their way to her system. She could've forgotten him easily if she didn't try hard enough.

"Yeah.. You?" She breathed, shoving the small cylinder shaped container behind her.

The man moved, itching to get a view of what the hell she was hiding.

"No.. No, I'm not, really."

"Wanna talk about it?" JJ inquired.

He shook his head, "no, I'm sad because you're sad."

JJ laughed nervously. Did he know?

"I'm not sad. What makes you think that?"

Aaron wiped a tear from his eye. Not JJ. Not his JJ. His precious JJ couldn't be depressed, she couldn't be harming herself. No.

"The pills I saw you hide before I got in here, the way you act at dinner, how you focus more on feeding the children than yourself.. You don't even eat half the time.. You've been more secretive lately.. And I couldn't help but wonder.."

JJ frowned. Alright, so maybe the meds weren't working. They were probably just turning her into a mess, anyway. Well, she was one already.

"I just don't have a large appetite." She defended.

Aaron Hotchner took his wife's hand and rubbed it soothingly.

"It's more than that, Jayje. I found pills on the floor in the bathroom. I get it, you've been diagnosed with depression, and you're taking your medication.. But are you trying to overdose?"

He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anymore. He had said enough.

"Overdose? Aaron, please stop. I'm just a little shaken up over your crash."

Hotch scoffed. "Yeah. A little. It's alright to be shaken up, but it's much more and I'm tired of you lying to me. For fucks sakes, Jennifer, can't you just admit for once, that you're sad? That you're fucking angry at the world? Because I sure as hell am. Stop closing yourself off or you'll never get the help you deserve."

The man walked out quickly. He didn't want to call his wife by her full name, but it was the only way to get a point across to her. It was the only way she would listen and consider it.

"I'm not sad! I'm just screwed up!" JJ tried telling her husband, but it was no use. He had already left.

She closed her eyes tightly, burying her head in her hands. Countless times she'd taken his warm hugs and nurturing questions for granted. Countless times she'd turned him down, and countless times she'd closed herself off.

The dark haired man closed the door to the vacant nursery. The children were playing downstairs, unsupervised. He knew he had to get down to them, but his thoughts kept stopping him. He looked around the room, gazing at the colourful pictures that filled the walls. Right now, his life was black and white. Colour didn't mean anything.

Everyday, he'd find JJ alone, reading, or doing something that didn't require interacting with people. She'd interact with the children, but that was because they were oblivious to their mother's sadness. The kids made her smile, so that's what they saw... And JJ would wipe her tears away before they even got the chance to look up again.

He tried talking to JJ, but she'd tell him it was nothing. It wasn't just 'nothing'. It was something huge. Something that hadn't been addressed. If he kept being there for her, she would only take him for granted. If he wasn't there, however, she'd realise how much she needed him.

Hotchner never meant to walk out. He knew it was a dick move, but he had to do it. He had to show her that she damn right had problems.

JJ leaned back on the wall in the bathroom, dragging the polished silver tool along her skin. Her once soft, light, delicate skin, had turned into a bloody mess.

"Oh my God." She cried out, watching the sweet dark blood as it oozed from her left arm. It looked very pretty, to say the least. A lot prettier than her thoughts. She fell to her knees, wondering where the fuck she went wrong. It was only a matter of time before this would all end.

Long ago, and still to this day, her mom would say she looks just like her sister. JJ always denied it. She was just like her sister, except, it wasn't in looks. It was in attitude, the way they carried themselves, how they _both_ wanted their lives to end.. How they _both_ made that happen...

"I'm sorry." JJ whispered, feeling her body weaken as the blood drained out of it. What the fuck had she done? She'd just left her husband and 6 children without a mother. What if she could sort it out? What if she could talk to someone?

Her sister didn't. She ended up fine.

Maybe JJ would too.

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><p><em>Nobody said it was easy<em>

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start_

{The Scientist, Coldplay}


End file.
